failures pt. 3

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
How you look at the failures is in your control- they are the stepping stones to success. You can redefine your failures right now and change your past. Yes it’s true!. The tapes that you have been playing in your head that are the story of your life can be ejected and replaced with new ones. The story that says you are not a go-getter, that you are not smart, that you are a failure, that you are not lovable, that people betray you, that women are manipulative or that men are selfish, any story at all. There were things that happened to me in the past that were painful and I held on to as part of my identity. They colored and influenced the way I reacted and behaved with people. They were the shields that kept me from getting hurt, the banners that announced who I was, the excuses that I used for why I could not. Someone sometime in my past told me I was book smart but life stupid. Why did I believe it? Because I had example after example show up that proved this was true. It became who I was, a persona that controlled all of my actions for many years. I was uncertain, insecure, I lacked confidence in myself. It was a self fulfilling belief, since I kept attracting opportunities to prove these limiting beliefs right. I would think, “Why does this always happen to me?” and my oh so responsive inner voice would say, “It’s because you are gullible. Remember this time and that time and the time before?” or “It’s because people are not to be trusted.”

So what happened to change the story I was telling myself? I see now that I was ready to change. I was tired of the same old feelings of inadequacy and helplessness. I began to ask myself a different question, “Why do I feel this way?” It changed, from things happening to me, to me questioning my responses. A subtle shift that allowed the door to crack open into a whole new way of being. The saying that when the student is ready the teacher will appear is very true, although I believe the teachers are always there, just a small shift outside of our awareness. When we open our minds to the possibility of changing our lives, we begin to see that it is indeed possible. I have gone back to the painful experiences, the failures, the rejections, and ejected the tapes. I have forgiven my younger self for not knowing more. I have attached another meaning to the events, a meaning that gives me peace, as I now see that they were vital lessons in my journey. Every failure was indeed a success, because without them I would not be where I am today, and for that I am grateful.

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