Category: leadership

culture trumps vision

I believe that the limit to the growth of any organization is limited by their ability to grow and develop leaders. When I first started coming to this understanding, it seemed a long way off. A long way off from actually having a leader who we had coached and helped grow into the position we needed. We had to learn through trial and error, then through deep introspection, what qualities to look for when we select who to mentor. It started with digging deep into my heart, looking for the answer to the question, “Why are we in business?”. I have explored the changing answer to that question many times, and it has evolved as I have grown and matured. What it drills down to at the most core level for us is that we are in business to add value, or in other terms, to spread love and to brighten people’s day.

I had this conversation with one of my leaders just yesterday. Her journey is mirroring my own. As a young leader, she is finding that her position is requiring much more than managing numbers and processes. It is pushing her to learn more about herself as well as the people she is leading. She has had to learn to communicate differently with each one, and is becoming aware of the need to connect first. My coaching was to remind her that we all have a basic human need to be appreciated, to be loved. We have a tendency to take life personally. If you neglect saying hello to someone on your team, many times it is likely they will think you are either mad at them or rude or don’t care. The simple act of walking through the building and saying hello, greeting each by name, touching a shoulder or shaking a hand, can make the difference between a tough day and a great one.

Culture is a living thing, it trumps vision by 10:1. A vision will only get you so far, a vision is what you preach, but culture is what you do. You can remind people of the vision by coaching, teaching, training, but ultimately people do what people see. So my mentoring with my leader, reminding her of our vision, is only a small dose of vitamins to remind her of the direction we are headed. The true path to health for the culture is to live what I see in my vision. To be there for them when they need me while still allowing them the space to grow into the greatness that I see in them. It has to start with the leader, it has to start with me.

“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.”
– Henry Ford, Ford Motor Company

the cure

Some people cause happiness wherever they go. Some people cause happiness whenever they go. Oscar Wilde

Which one are you? Do you make it your intent to bring people up? Or are you tuned out inside your head, thinking the hundreds of thoughts that are looping around in your mind at any given moment?

And how the heck does one stay positive when faced with grouchiness and negativity and aggravation? What about when you are working with a deadline? or short on resources?

Our mind is a tool, and it’s main job for generations has been to ensure our survival by looking for all the threats. In this day we live in, and if we are lucky enough to be reading this online, we have resources and are not racing for survival. There are no saber tooth tigers ready to pounce, we have access to food and shelter, clean water and electricity. Yet our minds are slow to advance and still look for danger. The overwhelming fear that is all around us will invade the most loving space if it is allowed.

I have put myself on a news diet. Meaning I am done with it. I turn it off or tune it out or leave the room when it is on, and lucky for me my family is following. I am not saying to bury your head in the sand and chant “its all good its all good”, but rather to focus on the love and good things that are all around you.

One thing that is certain is that this current state of affairs in our country and our planet has brought to the forefront of our awareness the need to WAKE UP. To realize that you have the amazing ability to change your world. That the only way to counteract fear is with love, anger with gratitude, frustration with acceptance.

everyone is different

“He who thinketh he leadeth and have no one following him is only taking a walk”

I am back to the subject a leadership, it is a topic that is always on my mind, both as a business owner and as a parent. When I first became aware of this thing, “leadership”, I was not really clear on what it was, or how it was different than being an owner or a manager. I just knew that there were people in my life that were natural born leaders, and that I did not see myself as one. I may be behind the times, but it is a relatively new concept for me, this idea that you can create leaders. As I began delving into learning about this leadership thing, there was one simple definition that helped me see what it really means. Leadership is influence. If you have no influence over people, it is impossible to lead. If you don’t have the ability to touch lives, to create change, you are not a leader. Can a leader be destructive? Absolutely, as we have seen and continue to see in world we live in right now, with the tragedies and injustice we see happening on the world stage. So influence makes a leader, but to be a truly great leader there is more to it than that.

Integrity is the variable that determines the type of leader you are. Who you are is who you attract, and if you are working to create leaders as I am, it is important to be the model and live what you believe in.

The biggest lesson I have learned as a parent is that everyone is different. You cannot treat everyone the same, because everyone is not the same, even with the same upbringing and the same gene pool. As a leader it’s like you have to be a practical psychologist. You have to learn to read between the lines and to become aware of what works with each person you are in contact with. Sometimes it means being very strict and matter of fact, other people require a softer touch. Ultimately it means connecting with people and paying attention to your intuition when listening to what they say, through their words, but more importantly, through their actions.

Most of our communication is non-verbal, and that is why “do as I say, not as I do” is so ineffective. People do what people see, your actions and your intentions speak louder than words.

“Above all else, good leaders are open. They go up, down, and around their organizations to reach people. They don’t stick to established channels. They’re informal. They’re straight with people. They make a religion out of being accessible.” —Jack Welch

leaders made here

The vast majority of organizations have a shortage of leaders. Not a shortage of managers, but a shortage of leaders. There is a prevailing thought pattern in many companies that managers are what is needed. We used to be one of those companies. We thought that a manager was the solution to all of our problems. Managers to tell everyone what to do, to measure their progress, to enforce the rules. The best of them help ensure that the workload is distributed fairly and that sales and expense targets are met, the worst of them…well, the worst of them we could talk volumes about. The ones who live in their own little world and don’t even manage let alone connect with their team. The ones who are inflexible with their rules and don’t allow creativity. The ones who think they deserve the respect because they have the title. The ones who have no idea how to motivate or inspire their people. The ones who end up costing you dollars and loss of talent through their incompetence.

Someone in the organization has to wake up. If it is the top dog, great, but it doesn’t have to be. For us it began with an amazing individual who came to work in our restaurants. He is one of the people that I can see was sent to me at exactly the right time, for us and also for him. He embodied the work ethic that James and I share, but beyond that, he has an energy and a yearning to do more for others and to help them along their journey as he had been helped. He saw the coming and going of many people in our organization who we had placed in positions of management that were unable to lead. He continued caring and building and connecting, in spite of the chaos around him. He brought a young man on board who started as a dishwasher, and in that most difficult position in our organization as far as straight physical labor and mental fortitude, proved himself to be a superstar. Within a year he had helped this young man grow into a kitchen manager. How did he do this? Not by teaching him the nuts and bolts of how to run a kitchen, although that of course plays an important part. Instead, he encouraged in him the most important part of being a leader. How to connect.

We all communicate, but CONNECTING is where the magic happens. It happens when you work side by side with someone, when you are there to support them WHEN THEY NEED IT, not when it is good for you. It is when you know that they have 2 kids, or that their wife suffers from depression, or that they are helping to support their parents and disabled brother in another country. When they trust you and you trust them, to be there for each other as human beings, not just in the workplace. Leadership is many things, most of all to continue growing and learning, but it all starts with connecting. This is what we are teaching at our restaurants, we are taking responsibility for the 80+ people that are working with us, giving them tools that they can carry with them on their journey, whether they stay with us or not. Not everyone is at the point in their lives where they are ready to step up and lead, but we love them all the same nonetheless. We have a commitment to share with them what we have learned, to lay the tools out for them to pick up and do with them what they will. This is the culture at Denica’s Real Food Kitchen. This is why I wake up early every day. This is why I am here.

“A Dream You Dream Alone Is Only A Dream. A Dream You Dream Together Is Reality.”
– John Lennon/Yoko Ono

living on purpose

Good intentions are a world away from living with intention.

Good intentions mean you hope things will work out well, you wish things would change, you desire it to be better. Good intentions will get you thinking about what you want to do, but it takes more than thinking to make things happen.

To change anything, to improve your life, to grow, you have to be on purpose. You have to take that leap from wanting to doing. From hoping to executing. From dreaming to living. It starts with the intention, the dream, but sitting at your desk thinking about it will never bring it to reality. You have to express it. By talking about it, by writing it down, by enlisting help, by looking for people that are doing it already successfully and modelling them.

That dream going round and round in your head, that vision of a world without violence, the dream of being an artist, the hope that you will find the perfect mate, the dream of owning your own business- they are all possible. They are possible because we are the authors of our stories. We don’t realize it until we see it, that we can start right now changing the direction of our path. We can choose to verbalize, to vocalize, to take that dream, that vision, that hope, and place it out here. Take it out of your head, put it into the world.

All of the stories you tell yourself about why it is impossible are B.S. The story that no one can make a living as an artist, that businesses fail, that you need to have a ‘real job’, that violence is too ingrained, that all the good ones are taken- all B.S. They are the stories of your life that were written by other people. Take hold of the pen, and begin writing your story ON PURPOSE. With intention. Out loud.

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope.” – Bradley Whitford

trade up

There are many lessons to remember when you are leading people. Some lessons become ingrained, such as the fulfillment that is achieved when you look outside yourself and help others. Others need constant reminders, like it is a process, and to look at the big picture. Every person has their strengths and their weaknesses, and although it can be tempting to focus on ever facet of yourself at once, for me what has proven to be most effective is to surround myself with people who are strong where I am still growing. If you look at anything too closely, you will lose the perspective that standing back brings. For me, the big picture is definitely a weak point, but I have learned to imagine myself physically above, in the air even, and looking down and around at the world I am living in. I can take myself back through my memory to 5 years ago from today, and scan forward to now and see the progress I have made, not only personally, but in our business. It can be challenging when facing the day to day issues than invariably come up to test us, but if you can see the progress, and look at how life has unfolded for you, then can you really start to believe in the power of process.

I am still learning, every day and every moment. I think that I have found the perfect solution for a problem, only to trade one issue for another. The key is to trade up. The problems we had at the beginning of our business, not enough customers, got traded for the problem of not enough employees to serve them, to the problem of not enough seating, to the problem of not enough parking… The person you were sure was going to be able to handle the project falters, the timeline you had set gets blown, your plan has to change. Life is full of puzzles and opportunities for us to choose how we look at what is going on in our lives. Remember to reflect and to give yourself the occasional, or frequent, pat on the back for how you have grown. Each trade up is another way for us to use the tools in our toolbelt and learn again. Be a quick learner, and keep moving on up.

“A Pessimist Sees The Difficulty In Every Opportunity; An Optimist Sees The Opportunity In Every Difficulty.” – Winston Churchill

action is power

Knowledge is not power, action is power. You can read and study all you want but if you don’t actually do anything with what you know you are nothing but a spectator. Take your health, for example. There is no shortage of books and programs and step by step methods that will tell you how to be fit and lean, but sitting on the couch eating Chips Ahoy while reading them will never get you the result you are seeking. It may be knowledge that sparks the understanding that something needs to change, but action is the only thing that will actually change lives. We have an overwhelming amount of information being broadcasted into us during our day. Our instant access to what is going on anywhere in the world has brought us near awareness and knowledge overload. If we actually took everything in and felt it, we would curl into a ball and not want to leave the safety of our beds, so we filter.

Entrepreneur and speaker Jim Rohn said, “One of the best places to start to turn your life around is by doing whatever appears on your mental, ‘I should’ list.” It takes practice to begin to actually hear those subtle messages from our higher self that are working to get through the noise in our heads. I am not talking about the regret and self bashing “I should have done that differently”, but instead the “I should stop and talk to the guy asking for change”, or “I should call my friend and see how she’s doing”. Any should message that is telling you to help someone else. There is a tremendous power in taking action on your shoulds. It turns you from being a passive bystander into an active participant, an active author, of life. It means stepping up, just a bit, and taking responsibility for your world.

The good news is that it doesn’t take a lot. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing like rebuilding a school for the storm ravaged areas in Puerto Rico, or hosting a family displaced by the fires in your home. It can be small, like asking someone how their day is, and actually taking the time to care. The secret is that when you begin, you can’t go back. The rewards of helping others are immense and reflect back to us by making us…Feel Good. Taking action not only helps someone else, but it helps you. It helps you realize what you value, it helps you learn to listen to your internal guidance system, it helps you feel a purpose, it helps you grow. You can’t turn a butterfly back into a caterpillar, and when you intentionally work to help others, you begin the journey to learning to fly.

leader

“With the greatest leader above them, people barely know one exists. Next comes one whom they love and praise. Next comes one whom they fear. Next comes one whom they despise and defy. When a leader trusts no one, no one trusts him. The great leader speaks little. He never speaks carelessly. he works without self interest and leaves no trace. When all is finished, the people say ‘We did it ourselves’.”- 17th verse, Tao de Ching

I spent the better part of a year reading and studying the Tao de Ching. This ancient Chinese book of wisdom is full of the thought provoking verses that were a big catalyst in my personal growth as a human being and as a leader of my organizations and family. My notebook from this study is a hand written journal, where I would write out the verses one by one, spending as much time as I needed on each one, from one day to several, learning what they meant to me. The book is full of thoughts and insights and sketches, and as I read through it now, a year later, I am reminded again of my favorite verse. The 17th verse contains the principles that I strive to live by as I grow as a leader.

To be this kind of leader means setting aside your ego and becoming humble and grateful. It means being a servant leader, knowing that your most important job is to support those who are following you. It means giving credit to them, and taking the blame yourself. It involves empowering and nurturing the people who you lead, while always practicing self control. It is realizing that you have a tremendous impact, and that the little things make the biggest difference. Interfere less- interfere not at all. Be cautious with your words, you cannot know how deeply they can land in the heart of the listener. Give to give, not to get. Listen more, say less. Which brings to mind a favorite poem by the great Sufi poet Hafiz- “Everyone is God speaking, why not be polite and listen to him.”

the moment that counts

“Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall. Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all that life really means.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

We are living at the meeting space of our vast past and the invisible future that is shining out towards the horizon. The only moment we ever have is right now, yet it can be difficult if not impossible at times to calm ourselves from fear or stress or worry about the many possible futures that lie in front of us. Our poor brains spend so much time in overload, trying to play out every possible scenario for us so that we can “plan ahead” or “make the best decision” or “be ready”. If you have ever had to make a speech, go to an interview, finish a project, take a test, terminate someone, go to court…anything that triggers your stress-then you know what I am talking about. Even watching the news about the conflicts and tension in our world is enough to test the most stoic of personalities. It can cause you to wake up in the middle of the night with the issue on your mind. It can lead you to that glass of wine to dull your mind. It can take you away from precious present moments with the people you care about. I know this from personal experience, and I know I am not alone.

There have been philosophers and wise men for as long as we have recorded history counseling us to “Take no thought for the morrow”, yet how do we take that wise advice and make it how we live? How can we run our companies, plan our lives, raise our kids, without thought for tomorrow? Maybe in the many translations and rewrites we have lost the original meaning of those words. What if we replace “thought” with “worry”, or “stress” as high achievers prefer to call it. Then in modern language, I would translate those words into “Have no worry (stress about) for tomorrow”. When I get caught into the vortex of worry, I am learning to catch myself. I have a process I put my imagination through that helps my poor overworked mind get some rest.

Step 1- I give my mind the permission to play out the worst thing that can happen regarding whatever issue I am currently digesting. I do this consciously, meaning I am watching it happen in my imagination, without letting it suck me in.
Step 2- I accept that this could happen, and I realize that I will still be okay.
Step 3- I bring myself back to now and work to improving my present moment. I have already accepted the terrible thing that hasn’t happened, so from here I can rest my worried mind and put to use my creativity and imagination to find better solutions to the issues I am dealing with.

When we are engaging the part of our mind that worries, that stresses, we cut off the access to the imagination. We lose the ability to concentrate, we have difficulty making decisions. It can be like walking in the fog, not knowing when the next step is off the cliff. By opening the avenue to our imagination we are able to clear that fog, to plant our feet firmly on the ground, and to step forward, one step at a time, till the sun goes down.

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened. – Montaigne

harvesting problems

If you are planting carrot seeds and are expecting radishes you are going to be bummed when you pull those green tops out of the ground. One of the challenges some of our growing leaders face happens when they try to make the transition from team member into leader. They get frustrated or confused when they try to enlist people to carry out tasks and they face resistance. It is a classic indicator of the early stages of leadership. You think that because you are in charge, or even because you are simply trying to make something better, that you will have cooperation. But it doesn’t work that way. Everyone has an ego, we all operate with our emotions and with our brains, but mostly with our emotions.

The results we are experiencing today is a result of the seeds planted along the way. The only way to have a better tomorrow is to begin right now by noticing what you are harvesting. The early phases of leadership for a leader who is moving up in our organization yield the fruit of the seeds that were planted before they advanced. The good news is that the seasons of personal growth are not tied to time, but instead tied to a person’s increasing awareness of how to communicate with people. Leadership is all about relationships. You have to connect with the people you are attempting to lead, in other words attempting to influence. They have to know that you will be there for them before you ask them to be there for you. Every interaction is another seed you are planting, so be aware of the seeds you are sowing, and be patient. It is a process, but being aware is the first step to the next step of your growth.