My lungs were burning as I grinded up the hill, keeping my eyes focused just a little in front of my front tire. It had been at least 4 months since I was on my bike. Life had gotten in the way, and as I sometimes do, I forgot the incredible high from getting a great workout. I kept pedaling and breathing and working to keep my mind from going to the deadly thoughts of stopping to rest. If I keep my eyes only on the dirt, I don’t look up the hill at the steep incline still in front of me. I finally reach a little part that is still uphill but not as steep, and fool myself into thinking its flat, telling my dying lungs, recover, recover. I make it to the top and immediately take a moment to put my feet on the ground, panting, sweating from my head to my dripping back, and let my heart slow. I know this trail well, it’s close to my house and I have ridden it many times. Without stopping or falling. I have also had it kick my butt more than once, as my beautifully scarred knees are evidence of.
The next section is a rolling hill to the point where it becomes technical. This is always the scariest part for me, the steep downhill that requires intense concentration, trust in God and the bike. The deep grooves, ruts, roots and rocks that are signature on this trail have sent me skidding at best and over the handlebars in a youtube worthy spill at worst not too long ago. I practice a mantra as I navigate the downhill, “You got this, trust the bike, keep your eyes where you want to go” over and over in my head to keep out the fear. I let myself stop and walk a particularly steep section, forgiving myself for not being brave. When I blessedly reach the bottom I am excited because the last part of my ride is my favorite. The rolling hills are just hilly enough to require little pedaling, the momentum from the smooth downhill carries me right up the next incline and I am able to let go and smile, breathe and feel the joy and thrill of the wind cooling my sweaty self.
This part makes it all worth it and is when I am reminded why I love to mountain bike. It’s such a perfect metaphor for my life, the hard steep uphills when we are working to build something new whether it is a new restaurant, or striving to buy our dream home, or raising our young family full of little ones years ago. Then comes the really hard part, after we open, the tweaks and reversals and start overs you have to make when learning something new or raising teenagers or stretching your limits. But finally there comes a time when you can breathe, coast a little and really take a look at what you have done. This is where I say thank you, thank you for the ride, then start again.
“Though the road’s been rocky it sure feels good to me.”
― Bob Marley