But what does that mean? It means stop trying to please someone else.
This became so clear to me when I met Sherry, who had just come to the realization that she had gone to medical school and become a doctor to please her parents. Her dad was a doctor and wanted her to follow in his footsteps, so as a good daughter wanting to please her parents, she did. She was in her late 30’s when I met her and all she craved was a relationship and a family. The hours required for her to follow the career path she had chosen in the medical field virtually elimnated any free time, and everyone she met was in the same boat as she was. She felt that she was in a no-win situation, no time to meet anyone other than the other driven doctors who also had no time for relationships. She wanted to have a loving relationship and a couple of kids. She wanted to teach wellness, not cure sickness. She had gotten herself stuck in a career that was taking all she had and was leaving her feeling drained and unfulfilled.
This got me thinking. What decisions am I making that are to please someone else? Is my life one I have created of my own design, or am I following the blueprint laid out by my well meaning parents? There is nothing wrong with leading your kids in a direction of less pain, but letting them know and truly believe that you will love them no matter what is the best parenting you can give them.
So be yourself. What does that mean? It means getting to know yourself. Know what give you joy, and what brings pain. Stop trying to fit into an image that you have in your mind of how you should act or look like or what you should be doing at this point in your life. Slow down and stop judging yourself. How can you truly love anyone unconditionally if you are judging yourself? You may think you are not judging others, but as long as you are judging yourself I can 100% guarantee you are also doing it to other people.
Relax, breathe, feel that place inside you that lets you know when things are not jiving for you. Get to know and love that voice, that feeling, that is your intuition. Whether you believe in God, a higher power, your inner self…trust it. That voice, that feeling, is talking to you, and your internal guidance system is the most undervalued asset we have. Give yourself a break, be kind to the little boy or girl that is still there inside you.