“Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.”- President John F. Kennedy
Leaders are learners. You must be continually focused on your own growth, and the growth of those you lead in order to truly be a great leader. The fundamental counterbalance for the learning is teaching, and this is where what we are learning really sinks in.
When I share what I am learning with my people, I begin to see the impact it has on them and the way they interpret it. As we filter the lessons through our own interpretations and pass them along, the lessons get ingrained in our subconscious. It is so exciting to see someone light up as they gain a new awareness of something inside themselves that rings true. The feeling we get when we learn something new that just sounds right. For me, learning looks like this- I hear or read or discover something, and it resonates with what I already know. Or maybe it is some new way of looking at an issue that I never even thought of before, and as I take in the learning, it goes into a spot inside me, kind of a holding place. There it waits for the double verification from life situations that prove it true.
Sometimes what I have learned will come to me at the perfect time when I am coaching someone I am leading. This inspiration is truly magical. I love it when what I am learning shows up to me in real life situations. I remember distinctly one lesson that showed up in a painful way. I was reading about the importance of connection and touching a heart before asking for a hand. This is usually my instinctual way of being, I love people and appreciate them for what they contribute to not only my organization but to the world we live in. But I am far from perfect, and obviously still learning.
I was making a quick visit to one of my locations, and as I walked up to the building my eyes touched on the tables that had not been set up, even though we were 5 hours into the shift. I entered the restaurant and noticed several tables that had not been cleared, and one table with 2 guests that immediately flagged me over. I approached the table, and greeted the couple who were regulars at one of my other locations. They were quick to provide me with feedback about their visit. They brought to my attention the dirty tables and their perception of the lack of urgency in the service. I am always grateful for feedback, even when it is constructive. I thanked them and assured them I would be addressing their concerns and providing training to my team.
So far so good. Then it went south. I went to the office and my first words to the supervisor on duty went like this, “Hi Susie, those guests just complained to me that there were dirty tables for the entire time they were sitting here and that there was no sense of urgency from the staff to clean and service the dining room. Also the tables outside are not set up, and it is already 11 am. The tables need to be set up at opening.” Whew. That was the first domino. I did a quick walk through and settled myself in the office to catch up on some paperwork.
About 10 minutes later one of my team members came up and asked me if they could speak to me. I welcomed him in to the office and shut the door. “Hey Denica, I just wanted to say that I have always tried to be open to all the managers I work for, and I have had some difficult ones for sure. But I am really having a hard time with the supervisor on duty today. She just came up to me and said, ‘You need to keep the dining room clean.’ I explained to her that I had been very busy taking care of the guests, and that I was doing my best to keep the tables cleared. Her reply to me was, ‘Well, its not good enough, you just need to work harder.’ I really don’t appreciate her way of telling me, when I make it my priority always to give the best service possible to the guest.”
This was the immediate lesson to me in real time about the importance of connecting first. The negativity that was my first interaction with Susie swiftly got passed along the chain. Sometimes the real life examples of what we are learning are not pleasurable, but they are reminders nonetheless. I shared this lesson with Susie once I realized it, and apologized for my approach with her. When we learn the lesson, share it, the value you give to the people you are sharing it with is exceeded only by the value of learning what you teach.