The most important job I have here in this life is to guide the beings that have been entrusted to me to care for, my children, into a life of infinite possibilities. I have raised 4 of these unique individuals, and had some influence in the growth of the 5th, and one thing biggest thing I have learned from them is that everyone is unique. For some insane reason I thought that if I was their mom, they had my DNA, and I loved them all the same, they would all act the same. Reading that last sentence back to myself sounds definitely…if not insane, then naive, yet it boggled my mind again and again as I learned the nuances of each one’s preferred methods of connection and nuances of personality.
Though their methods of meeting them vary, they all share the same basic human needs. Things like we all want to be noticed and loved, we want to know we are appreciated and that we matter. We all want the certainty that we will be safe, yet we also crave variety. We are happiest when we are growing, though there is a time to just relax and reflect. And most of all, we want connection. We may have differing degrees of desire for connection. I for one love my down time, where I can just be alone with my thoughts or music or my writing, and 2 of my kids are very much like me in that. The other 3 seem to be the opposite, and seem to thrive on more interaction.
The lessons I am learning as I navigate being a parent of 5 have given me tools to be able to be a better leader for the people that work with me in our organizations. I have had to learn to communicate differently with each one, and to trust my intuition when it is sending me a message of what “need” is speaking to me. I have had to learn to be present and to read the body language to understand the fears that can control our lives. I have had to learn to express appreciation more and disapproval rarely. I have had to learn to hold myself to a higher standard as I realize how many people are looking to me for leadership and guidance. I have had to learn to lead.
“While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about.” — Angela Schwindt