“I am a perfectionist” was my badge of honor, what I would tell myself for years. I iterated this to myself and to other people as my secret ingredient that made me a good at the things I was good at. Imagine my surprise when I heard a mentor of mine say that perfectionism is the lowest possible standard you can have. What? How is that even possible? I denied it at first, but there was a seed of truth to his statement. When I dug deep down and looked at myself, I realized that my “perfectionism” had stopped me time and time again from taking action on my dreams.
This is the story that kept me trapped for the first 40 plus years of my life. This belief in the glory of perfectionism was in actuality a well versed cover up of the deep down dirt truth. The truth that I was scared out of my mind to fail. The unattainable standard of perfect that you can never reach by trying to get there. It is the perfect excuse not to start a business or launch something new. I needed to make sure that I had done ALL the research, and played out every possible scenario in my head or on paper or through endless discussion before going forward and putting the stamp of approval on something new.
This has caused me more grief than joy for sure, because paradoxically and thankfully my partner in life and business is the opposite of me in so many ways. He is impulsive and intuitive, and one of his favorite sayings is “Throw it at the wall and see if it sticks!” If you are anything like me, this will serve to drive you crazy. I took my job in our alliance very earnestly. It was my duty to look at all the downsides on any ideas we had. I parked myself firmly on the side that said “Convince me.” Only when he had (usually) worn down my defenses or I had done enough thinking and research to calm my fear did we go forward with anything new.
Back to perfection. Unlocking this truth that it is a trait or belief that is totally based on fear of failure was a huge insight for me. I remind myself constantly to do it afraid. The only way to perfect is to realize that everything is already perfect right now, perfect for you to begin accepting what is in your life today as the perfect environment for you to grow and learn and contribute more to this place we call home.