management and leadership

Often these two words are used interchangeably, but in reality they are two different philosophies. Managers have employees, leaders have followers. Managers are in charge of developing and enforcing systems and processes, leaders are in charge of creating connection and vision. This is not only true in business, but also even more importantly in families. If you have kids, you are either managing them or leading them. Parenting in my opinion is the most important job we are entrusted with. We have been given young humans to love, keep safe, guide and lead to adulthood, so they can carry on and do the same with their children, or the people in their lives. When they are little managing is the mindset, you need to tell them what to do and where to go. You need to keep them away from the hot stove, and probably help them with their shoes so they are on the right feet. But there comes a time when you need to shift to leading. Telling them what to do doesn’t work once they reach that point where they realize they have a choice. When will that point be? You’ll know. You will face resistance. Your sweet little boy or girl will suddenly transform into a different being right before your eyes.

I remember vividly the moment this happened with one of my sons. He was always a super cooperative little guy, always ready to do whatever we asked and to help out with chores. He was 13 and we were at our cabin, and our dog needed to go out. We said “Hey son, we need you to take Buddy for a walk”, and he ignored us. We let this slide because hey, this kid always did as we asked. After some time went by and he still had not taken the dog, we told him again, “Son, Buddy needs to go-“. Suddenly a new person took the place of our cooperative young son. He stood up and said “I don’t want to. Why can’t someone else do it?” What ensued was a rising of tempers and escalating voices until finally we took the higher ground and let him slide. This was the moment of transition, the point when we needed to change our approach and stop managing him and start leading him. How do you know when that will happen? You’ll know. This means asking instead of telling when we need help. This is when to trust foundation you have laid while they were younger to stand firm as they venture into young adulthood.

Managers are maintainers, leaders are builders. What steps are you making in your life to be a leader?

the hard question

When someone first comes on board, it is vital to spend the time to show them what the culture is. Use all of the resources you have to train them and bring them up to speed as soon as possible. But how long should it take? At what point to you begin to ask the question- Is this person trainable? There is no cookie-cutter answer to this, as everyone has a unique learning style. Plus, there is the added truth that the training never stops and you can’t stop even when they are already in the mix, performing independently.

Answering the question “is this person trainable” ultimately depends on the position they are in, as well as their track record of retaining and implementing the tools you give them to succeed. AND most importantly, their attitude.
Ask yourself these questions-
Have I spent the time with them to create a relationship of trust?
Have they bought in to me as their leader- will they do as I ask and need them to do?
Do they bring a positive attitude to the workplace?
Will they help their team members out when needed?
Do they show respect to the leader and to their team?
Are they making visible improvements in their performance?
Do they follow through consistently on the things that are important as opposed to urgent?

If the answers to any of these questions is “NO”, there is a problem. It starts with the leader- did you make sure they got the training and support required? But there is a limit to what a leader can do, essentially it comes down to the team member himself. He may not be a good fit despite your best efforts to on-board or rehabilitate him. The amount of time it takes to reach this realization will vary according to the level of experience of the leader and the team member, as well as the skill level required for the job. You should be able to make the call pretty quickly if your high-dollar bookkeeper doesn’t know the difference between a credit and a debit, for example, but may be more lenient with someone who has never had a job before.

It is never easy to transition someone off the team, especially in this current climate here in California. Everyone is hiring and so many business leaders I meet with share the challenge of finding and retaining quality people. Be that as it may, it will always cause more damage than good to keep someone on the team who is not on-board with the culture of the company.

Take a look at your team, acknowledge the blessing of the great individuals who are the core and are propelling and building your brand.
Look at yourself and ask the question- Am I focused on constantly improving, adding value to the people I lead, and becoming a greater leader?
And finally, ask yourself- Who do I need to transition off the team?

crazy is good

Marketing and innovation- the two words that are ingrained in my brain as the keys to continued business growth. We are always innovating, looking for the magic combination of services that will give our brand the perfect storm of success in our business. There are many more failed experiments than successful ones, but thank God we tried them otherwise I don’t believe we would find the ones that work. The ice cream machine was a definite fail. We thought it would be a hit when we added the soft serve machine to the Dublin location back in 2005. We had extended our hours and were open for dinner, but only until 8. We could not even give the ice cream away for free, let alone sell it, and the process of maintaining and cleaning the machine took over 90 minutes a day, something the salesman neglected telling us when we bought it. Not counting the fact that James and I both gained a considerable number of pounds after indulging in the all you can eat free ice cream that was suddenly at our disposal!

Those early days of being open for dinner in Dublin were also a fail, since we had not been ready to go all in and open late. We closed at 8 pm and didn’t have enought foresight to hire a manager despite the advice from our mentors. James was spread super thin, both opening the restaurant at 2:30 am as the baker and running the dinner shift until 9 pm at night. I was home with our young family and this was a super challenging time for us. It took us over 2 years to make the difficult decision to close the dinner service and go back to our model of breakfast-lunch.

Why was it so hard to make the business decisions of knowing when to change? For us it was tied up with our ego and not wanting to quit. I think any successful business leader would agree that you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to succeed. That can get twisted up when you have to make a decision to kill a project, it definitely did with us. Our financials didn’t lie, the extended hours were costing us more money than they were bringing in. Add to that the additional stress on our family since Dad was always coming and going to work and was tired as all heck. We wrangled for over a year whether to close for dinner, and when we finally made the call it was a sad day for both of us. It took just a short time for us to feel the relief of the added costs and stress that the dinner hours had caused on our family and to acknowledge that it was the right decision.

Why did it take us so long to make the call? Why did a giant like Kodak fail to make the innovations that could have ensured their continued success? Why did Blockbuster fall from the top? Ego and complacency. You have got to get your ego out of the way and look at not only the hard facts, but your intuition. Listen to new voices and be willing to try something new as well as to pull the plug on something that isn’t working. Never rest on your laurels, past performance does not automatically guarantee your future success. No one will argue that we live in a fast paced, rapidly changing world. You have to keep innovating and evolving your business and your leadership, or you will be left in the dust with the fallen giants. Being a leader means making the hard decisions, and also always looking for new voices and opportunities to add more value to your clients and the people you lead. Embrace change, and celebrate new ideas, even if they sound crazy. Change is made by the crazy ones, not the sheep. Crazy is good!

freedom

This July 4th I am more consciously aware of the freedoms we take for granted, and the one that is our base innate freedom that many of us don’t embrace. I am talking about the freedom of thought. We have absolute control over what we think about, and no matter what our life situation, we have the freedom to choose the meaning we give to what we experience. I am not in any way discounting the feelings of grief, pain and oppression, but I am talking about thoughts here, not emotions.

Thoughts are a little like habits. Its like when you go to Baskin Robbins and look at their 31+ flavors and default to Rocky Road. Or when faced with a big menu your choice is a Caesar Salad. There are so many choices, why do we always go with more of the same? We have pathways in our brain that the more we follow them (the thoughts) the stronger the path gets. Its a giant network of cables in there, and every time you follow the cable that leads to your disempowering thoughts, it wraps another layer around the original cable, making it stronger. It takes a tremendous strength of will to start untangling the cables and choose a different path.

I am here to tell you that it is possible, and we all have that strength inside us. It means becoming self aware, aware of your thoughts and the effect they have on your emotions. I know it is possible because I am doing it. If I can do it, I promise so can you. I was one of the most unaware self imposed helplessly slaved to my thoughts person you can think of. I truly believed that I could not control what I was feeling. To finally recognize the truth that I am in control of that inner voice was the beginning of the true freedom to enjoy this life to the fullest.

implementation

There is a point when you need to stop reading and filling your brain and sit for a moment and digest the content, then practice living it and passing it on. Stop reading and start doing. Come back after you have had 3 positive interactions. That means the person or people you interact with left uplifted. This is where the juice is at. Have a great day!

limits

I sat next to Bob recently at an Entrepreneurial summit recently, where 1000 current and aspiring business owners and had invested a lot of money to learn from some of the US’s brightest entrepreneurs. We spent time listening to the speakers but also interacting with each other. The common issue that kept coming up was “implementation”. We had a lot of knowledge on what we needed to do, but faltered on implementing what we knew. Most of these people were already tremendously successful by anyone’s scale, but they were all there looking to unlock the next level of success and learn from people who had knew the road ahead.

But back to Bob. As we split up into pairs to share our stories and why we were there, it seemed clear to me as an outsider where Mike’s limitations were at. He had a full service construction company that provided a concierge service to people after they had a catastrophe such as a fire or flood in their home. His service acted as a go-between and would assist with the many issues that arise when you are displaced from your residence. One of the challenges he shared with me was that people didn’t know that his service was available, and most people don’t anticipate a disaster so he’s not even on their radar.

I suggested that he develop relationships with insurance agents in order to get referrals to the people who could benefit from his services. His reply was a succinct “No” because he believed that insurance agents did not want to refer their clients to him because he would cost the insurance companies more money. When I heard this it sounded like he was closing a door before even looking in. It was easy for me spout advice such as he can be developing relationships with people in these positions outside of the work setting, like playing golf, chamber of commerce etc. He got a look on his face that told me he was not interested in hearing my input, and politely turned to speak to someone else.

This got me thinking about my own self imposed limitations. I know about the ones that used to stalk me, like I’m not smart enough since I didn’t go to college, or I’m book smart but life stupid, or I can’t do this without my partner. But what other blind spots do I have that are stopping me from growing and reaching my highest potential?

pity party

You are at the pity party. You are the guest of honor, along with the why’s. Why does this always happen to me? Why do I even try? Why am I so stupid/gullible/lame? Why does he/she always do that to me? The why’s are so seductive. They just love pity parties. Their specialty is killing creativity. They are quick retrievers of all the memories and dis-empowering beliefs that are buried in your consciousness. They even make up some, and are so convincing that when you are at the pity party you believe them.

So how to break the spell? You have to set a deadline. When you become aware that you are at the party (sometimes it can take a while to realize this), set a deadline for the end. Like soon, later today at the latest. Easier read than done, you say? Well start practicing. Notice the why’s, and change them to wise. Wise questions are the ones you ask that inspire creativity.
What is this emotion trying to tell me?
Who can I enlist to help with this?
What else could this mean?
What is good about me?
When did I feel this way before and what did I do to get over it?

“We must cultivate our garden.” – Voltaire

adding value

What is a business but a system for adding value to people? No matter what business you are in, selling goods or services, business to business or direct to the client/customer/patient, you are providing something to the people you serve that fills a need. In our business we are focused on intentionally adding value to the people we work with, the vendors we partner with and the guests we serve. As we have grown it has become more and more important to stay focused on this foundation. The addition of more people and personalities to the team has led us to sometimes stray away from this, but never for long.

How do you know when you have failed to add value? Well in this current instant world we live in the feedback is instant. Anyone can post a review online of your business and let the world know you failed them. Employees can quit without giving notice. You may lose clients. Not every interaction is in our control, but it is the leader’s responsibility to continuously navigate the course and ensure that the people who are following him know the ultimate outcome.

And what is that outcome? To add value!
How does one intentionally add value to someone?
-Make it your intention every day to listen without formulating your reply
-Be present in your interactions
-Value them, and value what they value
-Have them leave the interaction feeling better than when it started
-Take a genuine interest in what is important to them
-Practice “Kaizen” – This is a Japanese word that has no word for word translation to English, but it simply means “change for the better”
-Under-promise and over-deliver
-Exceed their expectations
-Lead by example
-Just do it!

strength or weakness

Where would you rate your leadership ability on a scale of 1-10? Where would those closest to you rate you? I would venture to say that if you are leading people you have a tendency to see things as better than they are. I was making a list of my strongest and weakest leadership qualities, and although I consider myself a humble person, it was strangely difficult for me to look at the weakest qualities. However, when I asked my family to help with this they had no trouble at all rattling off the weak parts. A few I agreed with, such as impatience, my tendency for tunnel vision (not looking at the big picture), and the difficulty I have had with visualization. It was interesting to me however that one of the areas I consider my strengths, empathy, was what they saw as my weakness.

I consider empathy one of my biggest strengths. It helps me to turn myself around and attempt to put myself in the other person’s shoes. I look at is as if I am adjusting my eyesight to their prescription of glasses. I look at behaviors that would hurt or trigger me and imagine what could be motivating someone to cut me off on the freeway, write a bad review, quit with no notice, do something unethical, be unkind…and choose to believe they are coming from a place of pain. I choose not to judge. This is an ongoing process, as you can imagine, since I continue to get tested in this (most often by those closest to me).

Can this be a weakness? Apparently so. It is a weakness when it falls too far to the left into the area of enabling or complacency. Its a weakness when I don’t want to let someone fall down, fail, experience pain or feel the discomfort of their choices. It is a weakness when I let the lower energies that other people are operating at bring me down. It is a weakness when I let it stop me from making the tough decisions leaders have to make.

I still think that empathy is my superpower, and it’s in my DNA. I also know there is a spectrum. As long as I watch the slide left and right on the scale and remember that pain and discomfort, failures and falls are our greatest teachers then empathy can remain a strength. It only becomes a weakness when I dip into fear.

the valley

The dip, the valley, the resistance, the crash, the wall…it goes by many names, but the symptoms are the same. You have been going hard on your project, dream, vision and suddenly it hits you. You can be deep in the middle or even at the end of your venture, but it will hit just the same. Suddenly you feel deflated and your motivation falters. You want to tap out. What was exciting, fun and fulfilling becomes hard, boring, and dissatisfying. It can feel like its crushing you, a heavy weight that you didn’t even realize you were carrying. This happened for me when we were 3/4 in to our project of opening our 4th location. The lease negotiations had dragged on and cost us a lot of our budget, and the remodel of the 20 year old building was uncovering a Pandora’s box of unexpected repairs that we needed to make. Fortunately (or unfortunately-) we were vested and on the hook to complete this and get it open as soon as possible so we could change the flow of funds from flooding outwards to trickling in. I am also facing it again now as I push to complete the current projects I am leading in our organization.

What to do? It helps to admit it. To face it, and to recognize that it is a normal progression and it has happened before, and will again!
-I am going to pause and take a moment to reflect.
-I am going to ask who can I enlist to help me with these projects?
-I am going to prioritize the projects and take one at a time.
-I am going to remember that there is no tapping out for the leader.
-I am going to look at my life as a whole and see what areas I am neglecting that are pulling me into this dip.
-I am going to be grateful for the opportunity to be able to work on these projects.
-I am going to focus on someone else instead of me.
-I am going to remember that its a journey not a destination- an experience not a goal.
-I am going to have someone hold me accountable.
-I am going to complete the projects while starting new ones.
-I am going to admit I’d rather have too much going on than the alternative, and embrace the valley, without which there would be no peak.