Category: leadership

freedom

This July 4th I am more consciously aware of the freedoms we take for granted, and the one that is our base innate freedom that many of us don’t embrace. I am talking about the freedom of thought. We have absolute control over what we think about, and no matter what our life situation, we have the freedom to choose the meaning we give to what we experience. I am not in any way discounting the feelings of grief, pain and oppression, but I am talking about thoughts here, not emotions.

Thoughts are a little like habits. Its like when you go to Baskin Robbins and look at their 31+ flavors and default to Rocky Road. Or when faced with a big menu your choice is a Caesar Salad. There are so many choices, why do we always go with more of the same? We have pathways in our brain that the more we follow them (the thoughts) the stronger the path gets. Its a giant network of cables in there, and every time you follow the cable that leads to your disempowering thoughts, it wraps another layer around the original cable, making it stronger. It takes a tremendous strength of will to start untangling the cables and choose a different path.

I am here to tell you that it is possible, and we all have that strength inside us. It means becoming self aware, aware of your thoughts and the effect they have on your emotions. I know it is possible because I am doing it. If I can do it, I promise so can you. I was one of the most unaware self imposed helplessly slaved to my thoughts person you can think of. I truly believed that I could not control what I was feeling. To finally recognize the truth that I am in control of that inner voice was the beginning of the true freedom to enjoy this life to the fullest.

implementation

There is a point when you need to stop reading and filling your brain and sit for a moment and digest the content, then practice living it and passing it on. Stop reading and start doing. Come back after you have had 3 positive interactions. That means the person or people you interact with left uplifted. This is where the juice is at. Have a great day!

limits

I sat next to Bob recently at an Entrepreneurial summit recently, where 1000 current and aspiring business owners and had invested a lot of money to learn from some of the US’s brightest entrepreneurs. We spent time listening to the speakers but also interacting with each other. The common issue that kept coming up was “implementation”. We had a lot of knowledge on what we needed to do, but faltered on implementing what we knew. Most of these people were already tremendously successful by anyone’s scale, but they were all there looking to unlock the next level of success and learn from people who had knew the road ahead.

But back to Bob. As we split up into pairs to share our stories and why we were there, it seemed clear to me as an outsider where Mike’s limitations were at. He had a full service construction company that provided a concierge service to people after they had a catastrophe such as a fire or flood in their home. His service acted as a go-between and would assist with the many issues that arise when you are displaced from your residence. One of the challenges he shared with me was that people didn’t know that his service was available, and most people don’t anticipate a disaster so he’s not even on their radar.

I suggested that he develop relationships with insurance agents in order to get referrals to the people who could benefit from his services. His reply was a succinct “No” because he believed that insurance agents did not want to refer their clients to him because he would cost the insurance companies more money. When I heard this it sounded like he was closing a door before even looking in. It was easy for me spout advice such as he can be developing relationships with people in these positions outside of the work setting, like playing golf, chamber of commerce etc. He got a look on his face that told me he was not interested in hearing my input, and politely turned to speak to someone else.

This got me thinking about my own self imposed limitations. I know about the ones that used to stalk me, like I’m not smart enough since I didn’t go to college, or I’m book smart but life stupid, or I can’t do this without my partner. But what other blind spots do I have that are stopping me from growing and reaching my highest potential?

adding value

What is a business but a system for adding value to people? No matter what business you are in, selling goods or services, business to business or direct to the client/customer/patient, you are providing something to the people you serve that fills a need. In our business we are focused on intentionally adding value to the people we work with, the vendors we partner with and the guests we serve. As we have grown it has become more and more important to stay focused on this foundation. The addition of more people and personalities to the team has led us to sometimes stray away from this, but never for long.

How do you know when you have failed to add value? Well in this current instant world we live in the feedback is instant. Anyone can post a review online of your business and let the world know you failed them. Employees can quit without giving notice. You may lose clients. Not every interaction is in our control, but it is the leader’s responsibility to continuously navigate the course and ensure that the people who are following him know the ultimate outcome.

And what is that outcome? To add value!
How does one intentionally add value to someone?
-Make it your intention every day to listen without formulating your reply
-Be present in your interactions
-Value them, and value what they value
-Have them leave the interaction feeling better than when it started
-Take a genuine interest in what is important to them
-Practice “Kaizen” – This is a Japanese word that has no word for word translation to English, but it simply means “change for the better”
-Under-promise and over-deliver
-Exceed their expectations
-Lead by example
-Just do it!

strength or weakness

Where would you rate your leadership ability on a scale of 1-10? Where would those closest to you rate you? I would venture to say that if you are leading people you have a tendency to see things as better than they are. I was making a list of my strongest and weakest leadership qualities, and although I consider myself a humble person, it was strangely difficult for me to look at the weakest qualities. However, when I asked my family to help with this they had no trouble at all rattling off the weak parts. A few I agreed with, such as impatience, my tendency for tunnel vision (not looking at the big picture), and the difficulty I have had with visualization. It was interesting to me however that one of the areas I consider my strengths, empathy, was what they saw as my weakness.

I consider empathy one of my biggest strengths. It helps me to turn myself around and attempt to put myself in the other person’s shoes. I look at is as if I am adjusting my eyesight to their prescription of glasses. I look at behaviors that would hurt or trigger me and imagine what could be motivating someone to cut me off on the freeway, write a bad review, quit with no notice, do something unethical, be unkind…and choose to believe they are coming from a place of pain. I choose not to judge. This is an ongoing process, as you can imagine, since I continue to get tested in this (most often by those closest to me).

Can this be a weakness? Apparently so. It is a weakness when it falls too far to the left into the area of enabling or complacency. Its a weakness when I don’t want to let someone fall down, fail, experience pain or feel the discomfort of their choices. It is a weakness when I let the lower energies that other people are operating at bring me down. It is a weakness when I let it stop me from making the tough decisions leaders have to make.

I still think that empathy is my superpower, and it’s in my DNA. I also know there is a spectrum. As long as I watch the slide left and right on the scale and remember that pain and discomfort, failures and falls are our greatest teachers then empathy can remain a strength. It only becomes a weakness when I dip into fear.

the valley

The dip, the valley, the resistance, the crash, the wall…it goes by many names, but the symptoms are the same. You have been going hard on your project, dream, vision and suddenly it hits you. You can be deep in the middle or even at the end of your venture, but it will hit just the same. Suddenly you feel deflated and your motivation falters. You want to tap out. What was exciting, fun and fulfilling becomes hard, boring, and dissatisfying. It can feel like its crushing you, a heavy weight that you didn’t even realize you were carrying. This happened for me when we were 3/4 in to our project of opening our 4th location. The lease negotiations had dragged on and cost us a lot of our budget, and the remodel of the 20 year old building was uncovering a Pandora’s box of unexpected repairs that we needed to make. Fortunately (or unfortunately-) we were vested and on the hook to complete this and get it open as soon as possible so we could change the flow of funds from flooding outwards to trickling in. I am also facing it again now as I push to complete the current projects I am leading in our organization.

What to do? It helps to admit it. To face it, and to recognize that it is a normal progression and it has happened before, and will again!
-I am going to pause and take a moment to reflect.
-I am going to ask who can I enlist to help me with these projects?
-I am going to prioritize the projects and take one at a time.
-I am going to remember that there is no tapping out for the leader.
-I am going to look at my life as a whole and see what areas I am neglecting that are pulling me into this dip.
-I am going to be grateful for the opportunity to be able to work on these projects.
-I am going to focus on someone else instead of me.
-I am going to remember that its a journey not a destination- an experience not a goal.
-I am going to have someone hold me accountable.
-I am going to complete the projects while starting new ones.
-I am going to admit I’d rather have too much going on than the alternative, and embrace the valley, without which there would be no peak.

changing our culture

I recently watched “The Founder”, the story of McDonald’s restaurants, and although the movie portrayed Ray Kroc in a not very ethical light, I was curious to learn more about the story. What was the difference between Ray Kroc, who took over and grew the concept that the McDonald’s brothers had founded, and the two brothers? Why was he able to grow the location to the monolith that it has become today? The brothers had achieved great financial success, and had sold some franchises, but lacked the vision or desire to take it big. They had attempted and failed and given up on the process, they were great operators, great managers, but lacked the leadership skills and talents to take their company worldwide.

They were what I call top performers, or skilled producers. Very good at what they do, but lacking in the ability or knowledge to improve their effectiveness by improving their leadership abilities. When we went from one location to 2 then 3 in the space of 2 short months, we were faced with the same problems. James and I were very skilled producers. We had what it took to create a successful restaurant that was profitable and had a loyal fan base and employees. We went blindly forward on that foundation and signed leases for locations 2 and 3, which opened each one month apart. This was a real test on our leadership. I thought that it would be easy to duplicate the success we had at our first location in these 2 new ventures. We recruited, hired and trained the new management team, not really investing the time or even knowing about leadership. We thought it was as simple as hiring experienced managers, paying them well, putting them in there to do their management thing, and it was done. Wrong. It has taken us 5 years of learning and growing to realize that a title does not gain you much in the way of influence or success.

We had seen the coming and goings of many managers in our company when I finally hit a wall. It was so exhausting and expensive to keep rebuilding the management team. Every time we had a change in leadership, there was a trickle down effect on the entire company. The new manager invariably alienated some of the people on the team due to their unique style, and employee turnover was the unfortunate result. I knew that in order to change this cycle I needed to change my thinking. I resolved that I was going to change the direction of our organization. I would no longer hire anyone into a position of leadership out of desperation, and with a very rare exception would I hire from the outside for leadership roles. Thus began our culture shift to one of internal growth. Instead of pushing our growth to the outside, through opening more and more locations, we turned our focus inward to our people. We began the long yet incredibly fruitful process of investing our energy in our team.

The benefits have been compounding. The people we work with that are already invested in the culture know what we are about. They already have the foundation and we are working with them to fortify that base with the skills they will need as they grow into leadership positions with us. We are sharing with them what leadership looks like, it means believing that the power is in the team, never in any one individual. It means taking responsibility for the team if you are a leader, and if something goes wrong or you fail to achieve a goal, its always a leadership issue. It means giving credit to the team when things go well, and taking the blame when they don’t. It means connecting and caring about the people who are following you, and looking for the potential of future leaders. This is the path to the next level of success. You can absolutely have success without leadership, but the only way to maximize your impact, whether in your family, organization, or life, is to bring people along with you on your journey to success.

don’t speed

“If you want to lead don’t speed” was the pearl I heard from one of the members of my inner circle. This from a man who 2 years ago was impatient to get the results he envisioned for his team. When you begin teaching what you are learning, it is amazing how it comes full circle and you begin not only learning what you teach on a deeper level, but become aware of the lessons that are there from those you are coaching!

Leadership is a process. It’s like building a high-rise. When you see a new building being built, it seems like forever that they have the area surrounded with chain link fence, and it appears nothing is happening in there. Then suddenly after many weeks, or even months, the structure begins to rise, quickly now in comparison to the past. When developing leaders you have to take the time to lay the foundation. Everyone is at a different place in their journey. Some are hungry, some are curious, some are asleep and unaware. There is no right or wrong, just different. When your thoughts and energy are focused on adding value to others and developing leaders, you will begin attracting people who resonate with you and want to hear your message.

The foundation you lay in creating the relationship with your future leaders is sacred. The single most important thing to remember is to build trust. This means to do what you say always and live your talk. It means to take time to talk to them about them. It means to find out what is going on for them not only at work, but as a whole person. Invest your time and energy in creating the trust that is needed to help them along on their journey to becoming aware of their potential and ability to influence those around them.

There is always a gap between your vision and your reality. Understand that leadership is a process, one that progresses through the habits, decisions, and building blocks that you do every day. Practice patience.

intentional growth

"Change is inevitable, growth is optional" - John Maxwell

My journey into intentional growth began when I started looking at myself differently. I began questioning my long standing beliefs about what I could and could not do, connect with people, be athletic, create a successful business, and be happy no matter what. I had a long standing relationship with depression, was very uncomfortable and awkward talking to people who were not in my immediate circle, had no athletic tendencies whatsoever, and did not believe in my talents and skills to create a business doing what I loved.

I am so blessed to have found a partner and soul mate who is a strong leader with vision, who carried me along with him on the early part of our journey together. He gave me the unconditional love and support as well as the perfect accepting environment to begin to live to my biggest potential.

The first book I read that helped me wake up to the thought of being able to control my emotions and create my life was Awaken the Giant Within, by Tony Robbins. I had just begun running and taking better care of my body, and was a follower of a vegetarian runner with an online blog, No Meat Athlete. The saying "when the student is ready the master will appear" really has proven true to me so many times. Matt, the writer of the blog, happened to occasionally mention this book and this speaker, and I was intrigued. Then he wrote about going to an event with Tony Robbins, and how it changed his life and inspired him to start the blog and change the course of his life. This was good stuff, and just what I was needing at the time. I bought the book, and read all 500+ pages, but what really stuck with me was the section about using different words to describe my emotions.

This was a catalyst to a new way of thinking and feeling. I started defining my feelings as a level up. For example, when I felt bored, I changed that to I am relaxed and unstimulated right now. When I was sad, I thought into it and realized most of the time I was tired, and needed some down time to either nap or veg out. Gradually this became more of a habit, though honestly it never ends. As I became better at redefining my emotions, sure enough, more opportunities to grow would come up. Just when I thought I had conquered one, I would get triggered and fall back into depression or feeling disempowered. I realize now that it is a process.

Any change you want to make has to be ongoing. If you think you can fix it and be done, you will swiftly be shown that this is not the way life works. Life presents us with opportunity after opportunity to react or let go, and the journey towards letting go is the journey to freedom.

I recently heard John Maxwell speak live, and he is a helped me see the value of intentional growth. I set the intention for myself to create 5 daily habits that would leave me no option but to grow and learn more about myself and how to best serve others in this world.
Every day without fail I -
Pray
Read
Write
Dream
Reflect
Since making these 5 key things a habit, I have seen tremendous results in my life. I have more focus, more gratitude, more appreciation, and more inspiration than I ever have in the past. I start my day early, I wake up without an alarm between 5 and 6 am, and spend 1-2 hours of quiet time doing these 5 keys for me to a fulfilled life.

Think about this for yourself. What 5 daily habits can you start that will set you on the path to intentional growth?

the mighty oak

We are so blessed to live with oak trees on our property. One of my favorite ones lives right in the middle of our driveway. We have a concrete circular driveway, and the tree has a hole about 6 feet across where it resides. I had a tendency to drive into the hole when backing up, so we filled the hole with river rocks a few years back. Over time the dropping oak leaves that stacked and decomposed combined with gravity have made those river rocks sink in pretty deeply to the soil surrounding the tree. One fall afternoon when we were admiring the majestic oak, James said to me “I wonder if it is really good for the tree to be so closed up with concrete and rocks around it” I agreed, but that was the extent of it. I made a mental note, intending to research this to see if it was true.

As for the giant oak in the driveway, sure enough, we needed to move the rocks away from the base of the tree, which lucky for us we have a strong son who made short work of it. The rocks, leaves and acorns had piled up about 12 inches up the oak, and that can cause the bark to rot, which will ultimately kill the tree. Thankfully we got to it in time.

It is amazing how many acorns these trees drop, and the squirrels work double time when they do to collect them and bury them around our property, or hide them in their hiding spots. I think they forget about some of their hiding spaces, and that is when I see the little new baby oak sprouting up.

One of my favorite quotes is from poet and author James Allen, who wrote As a Man Thinketh “The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg, and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.”
We are like the acorn, and have the mighty oak already inside us. Every dream we dream is a seed we sow. Whether our vision comes to maturity or not is highly dependent on our intention. if it is from love and for the greater good, you are headed in the right direction. You can make your dreams happen by sheer will, but when you know that you have the help of the Universe if you are working to serve others, the journey becomes so much easier and so much more fulfilling.

The realization of our dreams is also highly dependent on the nurturing we give it along the way. If we let doubt and negativity pile up, just like the rocks around the oak will rot the trunk, it will cause the dream to wither and die. If we don’t keep it in the forefront of our consciousness it can get forgotten. I make it a daily practice to dream- this is not something that just comes naturally for me.

I have considered myself to be more “down to earth”, or “fact based” When I would dream, I would get impatient, and want the result right now. Then I felt disappointed and dissatisfied, feelings I don’t particularly like. So it became easier for me to just stop dreaming. I kept my thoughts firmly focused on facts and realities.

Then something happened, I had flashes of insight, that showed me that the reality I was in was actually the life of my dreams. I dreamed of having a loving husband and partner, a beautiful space to live with my children nearby yet independent of me, of having a successful business, of being able to help others, of riding my bike…
Everything good in my life was once a dream-what a realization! Now it is one of the 5 things I do every day, I dream, reflect, read, write and pray. I am creating my life with intent- and the tree is growing healthier every day.