denica freitas

I was at a dinner party recently and was talking to Martin about his son. Martin’s son had graduated from college with a degree in psychology, and was contemplating what to do next. His son’s perspective of his choices was limited to going into the field of counseling, but the desire to sit with people and work through their personal issues was not a big pull. Martin, who I speculate did NOT have a degree in psychology, used his skills to help his son expand his vision. “I told him, well son, sales is all about psychology, and life and business are about sales. Why don’t you use what you have learned and see what you can do to build a business?” Great advice! I may be biased, but I am a big fan of entrepreneurs and I love it when people are inspired to go into business for themselves.

This got me thinking about the thought of life being about sales, and its true. When you are parenting it definitely is, and my kids are great at selling me on what they want, and I definitely needed to be a really good salesperson to convince them to take a jacket to school or eat their veggies! In business of course sales play a big part, not only with the client or customer, but also with your team. It may be more subtle, since the team is not actually purchasing something tangible, but buy-in is vital to the creation of a healthy growing culture.

“Will they buy in to my vision?” I’ve heard this question from aspiring entrepreneurs, and its not about the vision. It’s about the leader. People buy in to YOU. People will rarely support even a worthy cause unless they have first bought in to the leader. That’s why corporations use celebrity endorsers, we automatically think that someone who is famous and successful at sports, music, or acting has credibility, and as such the product they endorse also gets that benefit.

The question comes down to have you given them reason to buy in to you? This requires building trust. We have seen this in action in our business as sometimes people we have placed in leadership positions end up falling flat on their face. When they start out they have a level of respect that comes automatically since they are in a position of authority, but from there it is up to the salesmanship and leadership of the person whether they succeed or fail. More than once we have seen a potentially great leader neglect the important part of the leadership process that requires you to build relationships and the trust of the team before attempting to make major changes. Buy in takes time, it requires integrity and a track record of credibility so that the people you are leading know and believe you will be there for them no matter what. It requires being honest with them, and sincerely taking an interest in their goals and helping them grow. Ultimately it requires patience and the work to build the relationships that will bring you to your vision.

“If you fail to prepare you are preparing to fail.” – John Maxwell

This quote was at the forefront of my mind as I prepared for my meeting with the leaders we are helping to grow in our company. The most important thing to remember when leading a meeting is to know your outcome. My outcome was to add value to them and ensure that they left the meeting uplifted. The absolute importance of taking the time to connect with the people you are leading is non-negotiable. My flexible agenda when I lead a small meeting goes like this:

1. Set the expectation (Tell them why they are there. Most people are sitting there thinking to themselves, why are we meeting? What is this about?)
2. Appreciation (Let them know how much you need them and appreciate them)
3. Intention (Let them know your goal is to add value and that you value their time. Start and end on time.)
4. You go last (Ask questions before sharing your story or message)
5. Anything Else? (When people are sharing and communicating with you, I always ask “What else”, never “is that all”. This keeps the communication open.)
6. Conclusion (Recap and summarize your message, while thanking them for contributing)

I look at my meetings as an opportunity to collaborate and connect with the people that I am meeting with. Many minds are smarter than one mind, and there is a synergy when people with a shared vision begin thinking about solutions and ideas. The ability to nurture this incredible group power and be open to the direction it takes you is a super-power when it comes to growing your business. The more you grow yourself and your own leadership abilities, the more you can lift the people you are leading. I am being pushed upwards to grow by the emerging leaders that we are developing, I learn from them as I teach them, its an amazingly beautiful thing.

Culture is a living growing organism. Miso, yogurt, kombucha, sauerkraut…all contain it. It needs the right environment to grow and to thrive. We are encouraged to include it in our diet because it contains active, live probiotics that help to keep us healthy. In your organization, in your family, in your country, you have a culture, whether you are creating it intentionally or not. Just like in in food, it needs the right environment to grow. Like foods, if your culture doesn’t have the right environment, it can spoil and turn toxic.

We are constantly in the process of nurturing the culture in our organization. We know that if you neglect the important things, like listening, really listening, the environment can and will change. The good news is that your culture has muscle memory. Well the good news and the bad. If your culture was not conducive to growth and love and teamwork, it can easily slip back there without strong leadership. When a culture has started to slip, as it can, you’d better pay attention and get in there before apathy starts its alluring pull back to the starting point. That the pull is like a tug of war, with the followers becoming stronger than the leader. Discord and inertia and even sabotage can and will happen when the culture is slipping. But muscle memory- it can bring you right back up to where you need to be with the right leadership.

Every problem, every issue, is a leadership issue. Without a strong leader who listens and cares and lives what they teach it is impossible to sustain a positive culture. Turning around a slip, or even the act of constantly creating and growing a culture entails connecting with the key people on your team. These are the green leaders and top performers, the 20% that are producing 80% of the results.

Connect and talk to your people. Ask them what their biggest challenges are. And help solve them. Listen. Follow up and follow through. And listen some more. If you don’t care, no one else will either. Celebrate the direction while keeping the goal in your sights. Remember that it is the little things that you do consistently that stack and compound and build the culture, be intentional about your habits.

Do you want to go into business for yourself so you can have more time? More freedom, more money? Let me tell you that you will get none of those things, not at first. Being self employed is not for the weak. If I can talk you out of it, you should go do something else. It takes a do whatever it takes mindset to not only launch but especially to grow a business. The successful entrepreneurs I know are a scrappy bunch. They are driven, motivated. They can be stubborn, yet they need to know they will be constantly growing. They have a strong opinion on the things that they will not compromise on in their business. For my father one of the things was his phone system. He insisted that no matter how much his company grew, his clients would reach a real person when they called. After my 3 disconnected phone calls and “touch 3 for technical support”, “I’m sorry, please repeat your selection” frustrating call to Directv yesterday I can really appreciate this as a standard. In our restaurant business we will not sacrifice quality for price. This is a non-negotiable standard.

I grew up in a family of entrepreneurs, so it was a natural flow for me to open my own business, but even with that foundation it has been a steep mountain to climb. The rewards are tremendous, we have been able in our business to provide jobs for so many people we know and in our family, we have been blessed to be able to work together as husband and wife and with our kids, we have amazing positive fun people who we get to work with, and we have the freedom to choose who works with us. But every benefit comes with a sacrifice. You have to be willing to sacrifice time to reap the rewards. You have to sacrifice your ego to continue to grow. And when you reach the place where you realize that you are successful, you need to sacrifice more. You can never rest on your laurels, you must continue to ask “How can I serve (my tribe, my planet, my team, my clients)” and “How can I make it better”.

One of the dangers for the passionate individuals who venture into business is to fall in love with their product or service. They are so enamoured of their amazing widget or delicious food or beautiful artistry or interesting website or matching fleet that they forget the most important part of being successful. You have to be in love with your people. Your clients, your customers, your employees…this is the secret of success. Your question should always be “How can I better serve them”. Great success comes only after great sacrifice. Great success also comes with a big responsibility, a responsibility to share and contribute and grow and to serve.

“What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important.” Dwight Eisenhower
Time. We all just have 24 hours in a day, yet why do people say they don’t have enough? It’s the most common excuse I hear, “I didn’t have enough time”. How is it that some people are able to accomplish so much more in their 24 hours than others?

When you are spending your time on what is important, instead of the urgent things that clamor so noisily for our attention, you get more time. Not more time exactly, but more time in the zone where it matters. It’s important to show your partner you love them daily through your words and actions, or you will have an urgent problem when you grow apart. Its important to pay your taxes, or you will definitely have an urgent issue when the Fed catches up with you. If you spend the time connecting with your team, working side by side and sharing and learning about who they are, when it’s crazy busy and you need a helping hand they will be there for you.

It takes focus and a conscious intent to spend your time on the important things that will help build the foundation for handling the inevitable urgent things that life brings your way. In our organization we train our leaders that the MOST important job they have is to support and be there for their team. Of course there are duties and tasks and responsibilities that are important to running a successful business, you have to place your vendor orders, make schedules, respond to emails, talk to clients…BUT you will always be running from behind, putting out fires, if you fail to understand the most simple truth. People are what matter. Your team will help you sail, or they will sink you. The deciding factor is if you have made the time to support them and be there for them – get this – When it matters to them. Not when it is convenient for you.